The first official Darwin Award of 2007

[exjersey1]

Electronic Fireworks
2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin


(1 January 2007, Netherlands) The first Darwin Award of 2007 goes to Serge Sluijters, 36, who thought it reasonable to hover over an illegal professional firework and light the electronic ignition with an open flame. But this was not a traditional wick; it was a device designed for precision timing. The flame triggered an immediate launch, and the fireworks catapulted upwards, killing our amateur pyrotechnician enroute to a spectacular burst across the night sky.
Serge had purchased the firework legally in Belgium, but then transported it illegally into the Netherlands. His father disputed the notion that Serge was careless, characterizing his son as a man who gave due consideration to his acts. A witness told reporters, "His face disappeared. If someone has no face left, you know it's serious."

Every year, another idiot gets nominated for a Darwin Award for this same reason. Please, readers, keep your itchy fingers off the triggers of these dangerous fireworks!

[Andrew Carey]

*Harrumph*

Shame on you for making light of someone's death.

[Instride]

Seventh Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing his head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Sixth Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Fifth Place
Buxton, NC : A man died on a beach when an 8- foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fourth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Third Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP: TACOMA , WA
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy salt water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER.
Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn , Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs, and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves....................................."S**t happens."

[The Dan]

RUNNER UP: TACOMA , WA
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy salt water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

History has taught us..... don't **** with the Tacoma Narrows Bridge!

http://people.deas.harvard.edu/~jones/cscie129/nu_lectures/lecture3%20/ho_coupled/narrows_bridge.jpg

http://www.civil.utah.edu/~blaser/MM_project/structures/Tacoma.jpg

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/7/70/250px-Tacoma_Narrows_Bridge_Falling.png

[Milesofsmiles15]

people who die of lung cancer who started smoking in the 90's of later should all be darwin award recipients

[TrackDaddy]

Every one of those leaves me speechless.

[exjersey1]

Coitus Interruptus
2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin


"What goes up must come down."


(20 June 2007, South Carolina) An hour before sunrise, a 21 year-old couple was found naked in the road by a passing cabbie. The unconscious, injured pair was taken to the nearest hospital where, despite treatment, they died without regaining consciousness. Authorities were at a loss to explain what had happened. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked cars or motorcycles.

Investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes, and nothing else. There was no indication of foul play, only of foreplay. "It appears as if the two individuals have accidentally fallen off the roof," Sgt. Florence McCants said.

Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof! This is a true Darwin Award trifecta: TWO people die, WHILE in the act of procreation, due to an ASTONISHINGLY poor decision. Bottom line: If you put yourself in a precarious "position" at the edge of the roof, you may well find yourself coming and going at the same time.

Ironically, one of the deceased was named, "Tumbleston."
(Some reports list the name as "Tubleston.")

Alternate titles: "Not-so-Safe Sex", "Falling For Her"
Submissions: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), etc.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2007
Submitted by: Amy Atwell, Nancy (Partin) McDowell, Allison Bailey, duanebsnrncnn, Carolin Spencer, Dr. B. Carey, Jeanine, Ken Kozelski, Stephen Zaharoolis, Jason Sargent, Bob Sabin, Brad, Mark, Patricia Morris, Alison Pierce, DJ.
Reference: The State newspaper, WIS/AP, AP, WTLX,com, woia.com, Fox News, knbc.com, myrtlebeachonline.com

[Andrew Carey]

people who die of lung cancer who started smoking in the 90's of later should all be darwin award recipients

If you live long enough you're going to get cancer regardless.

Stop the crusade.

[homeless]

If you live long enough you're going to get cancer regardless.

Stop the crusade.

great rationale :rolleyes:

[malmo]

HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.


Given the properties of dynamite, I'm quite skeptical on this one.

[homeless]

Given the properties of dynamite, I'm quite skeptical on this one.

how so?

[The Dan]

how so?

Generally, when I think of dynamite blowing up in a car, I think of the car blowing up with it. Maybe that's just me.

[homeless]

Generally, when I think of dynamite blowing up in a car, I think of the car blowing up with it. Maybe that's just me.
My knowledge of such devices is enhanced by the fact that I grew up in a place where people tend to have more cars hidden in their lawns than teeth in their head. :o

1/4 stick is about 3.5 inches by 1 inch. Powerful, yes. Capable of blowing off a limb, absolutely. Capable of killing, if put in a mouth...sure. Capable of blowing up a car if set off in the front seat, unlikely. I know more people than I'd like to asmit that have had a 1/4 stick go off within feet of them. Can't hurt your IQ severly if already only in double digits.

[MikeGamms]

If you live long enough you're going to get cancer regardless.

Stop the crusade.

qfe....


i wish the "anti tobbacco" people that plague or television ads would support people making their own damn decisions, and quit using such biased statistics and facts.

and honestly, i dont smoke, but not becuase of cancer, jsut becuase its not enjoyable to me. i'd rather live every day for everyday, then live my whole lfie worrying about crap that might make me die at age 75 instead of 85...

[malmo]

how so?


How does one "ignite" dynamite in their car? Please explain?

[homeless]

Car lighter

[homeless]

i'd rather live every day for everyday, then live my whole lfie worrying about crap that might make me die at age 45 instead of 85...

Fixed

and if smoking is living, I have some other suggestions for kicks and satiation

[TrackDaddy]

Generally, when I think of dynamite blowing up in a car, I think of the car blowing up with it. Maybe that's just me.

Hahaha!

That was funny.

[TrackDaddy]

My knowledge of such devices is enhanced by the fact that I grew up in a place where people tend to have more cars hidden in their lawns than teeth in their head. :o

1/4 stick is about 3.5 inches by 1 inch. Powerful, yes. Capable of blowing off a limb, absolutely. Capable of killing, if put in a mouth...sure. Capable of blowing up a car if set off in the front seat, unlikely. I know more people than I'd like to asmit that have had a 1/4 stick go off within feet of them. Can't hurt your IQ severly if already only in double digits.My thoughts when I read it was that the dynamite in some way led to their demise.

Of course, that could also mean to it caused them to wreck the vehicle.

[lasseviren]

Of course, that could also mean to it caused them to wreck the vehicle.

if a bee in a car can make someone wreck it, then i'm pretty sure that a quarter stick going off is quite startling enough to make them wreck.

but then i don't know much about dynamite, except napoleon.

[malmo]

Car lighter

You're not getting it. It's highly improbable that the above cited couple had dynamite in the first place, the first clue being "quarter-stick." Dynamite doesn't come in "quarter" sticks, in fact, there is no such thing as a standard stick size. "Quarter stick" is a name given to an M80 type firecracker which is NOT dynamite. Dynamite is quite stable and requires a blasting cap to initiate the explosion. The explosive, the caps and fuses are all separate entities and must be assembled by the user. Even if you used a pyrotechnic fuse (most use electric fuses), the couple would have first had to deliberately cut the fuse lenght to size and inserted it into the blasting cap. They would then have to had to mate the blasting cap with the dynamite.

The likelihood that someone with access to dynamite would have prepared it such a manner with a short pyrotechnic fuse just to throw it out the window of a car is almost zero. Then again, there are people who are worth almost zero out there, so who knows?

[Zat0pek]

You're not getting it. It's highly improbable that the above cited couple had dynamite in the first place, the first clue being "quarter-stick." Dynamite doesn't come in "quarter" sticks, in fact, there is no such thing as a standard stick size. "Quarter stick" is a name given to an M80 type firecracker which is NOT dynamite. Dynamite is quite stable and requires a blasting cap to initiate the explosion. The explosive, the caps and fuses are all separate entities and must be assembled by the user. Even if you used a pyrotechnic fuse (most use electric fuses), the couple would have first had to deliberately cut the fuse lenght to size and inserted it into the blasting cap. They would then have to had to mate the blasting cap with the dynamite.

The likelihood that someone with access to dynamite would have prepared it such a manner with a short pyrotechnic fuse just to throw it out the window of a car is almost zero. Then again, there are people who are worth almost zero out there, so who knows?

My grandfather passed away at the age of 87 in 1990. While getting ready for the estate sale (he was still farming 160 acres up until the time he died), my dad and I stumbled across some old dynamite in his barn (along with his severed ring finger from a farming accident he saved in a jar of kerosene for some unknown reason). Many moons ago, one could buy dynamite in hardware stores to blast stumps with, and that's what he used it for. I remember the sticks being pretty typical of what I expected in size, but there were no blasting caps.

I refuse to reveal how we disposed of it on grounds that it would definitely incriminate me.

[TrackDaddy]

if a bee in a car can make someone wreck it, then i'm pretty sure that a quarter stick going off is quite startling enough to make them wreck.

but then i don't know much about dynamite, except napoleon.What I meant was that they may have then been killed in and by...the vehicle collision.

Not necessarily directly by the "dynamite."

[homeless]

if a bee in a car can make someone wreck it, then i'm pretty sure that a quarter stick going off is quite startling enough to make them wreck.

but then i don't know much about dynamite, except napoleon.

Just bring my quarterstick! Gosh.

[homeless]

You're not getting it. It's highly improbable that the above cited couple had dynamite in the first place, the first clue being "quarter-stick." Dynamite doesn't come in "quarter" sticks, in fact, there is no such thing as a standard stick size. "Quarter stick" is a name given to an M80 type firecracker which is NOT dynamite. Dynamite is quite stable and requires a blasting cap to initiate the explosion. The explosive, the caps and fuses are all separate entities and must be assembled by the user. Even if you used a pyrotechnic fuse (most use electric fuses), the couple would have first had to deliberately cut the fuse lenght to size and inserted it into the blasting cap. They would then have to had to mate the blasting cap with the dynamite.

The likelihood that someone with access to dynamite would have prepared it such a manner with a short pyrotechnic fuse just to throw it out the window of a car is almost zero. Then again, there are people who are worth almost zero out there, so who knows?
I was only referring to this as a quarter stick. I know you did dynamite...it didn't click. The quarter-sticks I'm thinking of are not m-80's, they are the same ignition system of powder for an M-80, but much larger. I didn't just grab the Quarter-stick photo because of the brand name. Growing up we always had M-80's AND quarter-sticks around. I can only imagine they are still available. People without teeth or jobs have access to these things more often than not. They also spend little time thinking about how not to die using them.